Rey Skywalker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thatwaslucky) wrote2022-08-27 01:21 pm
thatwaslucky) wrote2022-08-27 01:21 pm
The Bestoon Legacy- later Saturday still
This was the worst Rey had ever felt in her life.
They'd gotten Ochi's ship somewhere that they could test out the systems before taking off. It had been in the sand so long, it wasn't safe to do anything else. Poe had taken over immediately, and Rey was actually grateful for that. He'd suggested she take a minute, the gentlest he'd been with her in a long time, and she'd been content enough to find a quiet area to be alone, where she plunked herself down on the first surface she found.
She'd expected she'd cry, but the tears couldn't really come. She wanted to. She should. It just felt like too much. Chewie had done so much for her. The Falcon was his by right, but after Han died, Chewie had offered the pilot's seat to her. They'd been crewmates. Friends. Family. And she had repaid that by killing him.
Fear led to the dark side. She'd been fine as long as her fear had been tempered by peace and resolve. But the moment she gave in to rage and terror… Chewacca was gone. The Falcon was probably gone. Ochi's dagger was gone. She had ruined everything.
Leia would be so disappointed in her when she found out. She couldn't imagine what Anakin would be. She'd fallen apart so fast.
It was Finn that came to find her. Console her, like she deserved it. "It wasn't your fault," he began.
"It was," she said, unable to look at him. "I lost control."
"No. It was Ren. He made you do it."
That was the thing, wasn't it? Kylo Ren hadn't needed to make her do anything. That had been her own anger. People tended to put her on a pedestal: But you can do anything, Rey. You're such a good person, Rey. And all the while, they'd been blind to what Rey had always known about herself- that she was absolutely capable of what she'd just done.
"You saw what happened," Rey said. "That power came from me. Finn, there are things you don't know."
"Then tell me."
Rey watched him. She hadn't been able to bring herself to tell Leia or Anakin. But maybe she could tell Finn. He had never judged her, and she felt like if she didn't tell someone, it would eat her alive.
"I had a vision," she said slowly. "Of the throne of the Sith. I saw who was on it."
Finn's eyes narrowed. "Ren?"
Rey nodded. "And… me."
He didn't get a chance to respond. Poe stepped into the hold with them, and Rey fully expected that he was going to lay into her for what had happened. He didn't.
"We're running out of time," he said instead. "So what are we gonna do?"
"What can we do?" Finn asked, shaking off what he'd just heard for the moment. "We gotta go back to base."
Poe shook his head. "We don't have time for that. We are not giving up. If we do that, Chewie died for nothing."
Rey felt a deep stab of guilt, but Poe was right. Wallowing was selfish. She still had the Resistance to think about, and their plan to find the Sith fleet. Chewie would want her to press on.
"What is there to do?" Finn asked. "Chewie had the dagger. That was the only clue to the wayfinder. It's gone."
"So true," Threepio said sadly. "The inscription lives only in my memory now."
Finn and Poe's heads whipped towards him. "Hold on," Poe said. "You got the dagger inscription in your memory?"
"Oh, yes, Master Poe. But a translation from a forbidden language cannot be retrieved," Threepio told him. "That is, short of a complete redactive memory bypass."
"So we do that!" Finn said, brightening.
"I know a black market droidsmith," Poe said.
"Black market droidsmith!" Threepio repeated, flailing his arms.
"But he's on Kijimi."
"What's wrong with Kijimi?" Finn asked.
"I had a little bad luck on Kijimi," Poe sighed, and added, "But if this mission fails, this was all for nothing. All we've done. All that time."
Finn nodded. "We're in this together."
Rey had been listening from her seat, still expecting things to turn into an argument, or for someone to yell at her. She kind of wanted them to. She deserved it. But instead they looked to her for input, like they still trusted her. Even Finn.
She gave a little nod, and stood.
"Hands," Poe said, reaching for Finn's, as Finn reached for Rey's. Threepio even teetered over to take Rey and Poe's hands and complete the circle.
[NFB, NFI, OOC okay. Some bits from The Rise of Skywalker novelization by Rae Carson.]
They'd gotten Ochi's ship somewhere that they could test out the systems before taking off. It had been in the sand so long, it wasn't safe to do anything else. Poe had taken over immediately, and Rey was actually grateful for that. He'd suggested she take a minute, the gentlest he'd been with her in a long time, and she'd been content enough to find a quiet area to be alone, where she plunked herself down on the first surface she found.
She'd expected she'd cry, but the tears couldn't really come. She wanted to. She should. It just felt like too much. Chewie had done so much for her. The Falcon was his by right, but after Han died, Chewie had offered the pilot's seat to her. They'd been crewmates. Friends. Family. And she had repaid that by killing him.
Fear led to the dark side. She'd been fine as long as her fear had been tempered by peace and resolve. But the moment she gave in to rage and terror… Chewacca was gone. The Falcon was probably gone. Ochi's dagger was gone. She had ruined everything.
Leia would be so disappointed in her when she found out. She couldn't imagine what Anakin would be. She'd fallen apart so fast.
It was Finn that came to find her. Console her, like she deserved it. "It wasn't your fault," he began.
"It was," she said, unable to look at him. "I lost control."
"No. It was Ren. He made you do it."
That was the thing, wasn't it? Kylo Ren hadn't needed to make her do anything. That had been her own anger. People tended to put her on a pedestal: But you can do anything, Rey. You're such a good person, Rey. And all the while, they'd been blind to what Rey had always known about herself- that she was absolutely capable of what she'd just done.
"You saw what happened," Rey said. "That power came from me. Finn, there are things you don't know."
"Then tell me."
Rey watched him. She hadn't been able to bring herself to tell Leia or Anakin. But maybe she could tell Finn. He had never judged her, and she felt like if she didn't tell someone, it would eat her alive.
"I had a vision," she said slowly. "Of the throne of the Sith. I saw who was on it."
Finn's eyes narrowed. "Ren?"
Rey nodded. "And… me."
He didn't get a chance to respond. Poe stepped into the hold with them, and Rey fully expected that he was going to lay into her for what had happened. He didn't.
"We're running out of time," he said instead. "So what are we gonna do?"
"What can we do?" Finn asked, shaking off what he'd just heard for the moment. "We gotta go back to base."
Poe shook his head. "We don't have time for that. We are not giving up. If we do that, Chewie died for nothing."
Rey felt a deep stab of guilt, but Poe was right. Wallowing was selfish. She still had the Resistance to think about, and their plan to find the Sith fleet. Chewie would want her to press on.
"What is there to do?" Finn asked. "Chewie had the dagger. That was the only clue to the wayfinder. It's gone."
"So true," Threepio said sadly. "The inscription lives only in my memory now."
Finn and Poe's heads whipped towards him. "Hold on," Poe said. "You got the dagger inscription in your memory?"
"Oh, yes, Master Poe. But a translation from a forbidden language cannot be retrieved," Threepio told him. "That is, short of a complete redactive memory bypass."
"So we do that!" Finn said, brightening.
"I know a black market droidsmith," Poe said.
"Black market droidsmith!" Threepio repeated, flailing his arms.
"But he's on Kijimi."
"What's wrong with Kijimi?" Finn asked.
"I had a little bad luck on Kijimi," Poe sighed, and added, "But if this mission fails, this was all for nothing. All we've done. All that time."
Finn nodded. "We're in this together."
Rey had been listening from her seat, still expecting things to turn into an argument, or for someone to yell at her. She kind of wanted them to. She deserved it. But instead they looked to her for input, like they still trusted her. Even Finn.
She gave a little nod, and stood.
"Hands," Poe said, reaching for Finn's, as Finn reached for Rey's. Threepio even teetered over to take Rey and Poe's hands and complete the circle.
[NFB, NFI, OOC okay. Some bits from The Rise of Skywalker novelization by Rae Carson.]