thatwaslucky: (dyad or whatever)
Rey Skywalker ([personal profile] thatwaslucky) wrote2022-08-28 01:44 pm

The Steadfast- Sunday

Now that Rey didn't think she'd murdered one of her best friends and was out of her own head a bit, she slipped into the pilot's seat of Ochi's ship and Poe let her without arguing. They sped up toward the Steadfast at speeds that came nowhere close to what the Falcon could do, but it was enough to make a person's stomach drop. Zorii had opted to stay on Kijimi despite Poe's protests, but she'd given them a captain's medallion that was going to give them a chance to board.

Something beeped, and Poe exhaled in relief. "Medallion works. Cleared for cargo hangar twelve."

"Hang on, Chewie," Rey murmured. "We're coming."

"Whoever this Chewie is, this is madness," said Threepio.

Rey slowed her speed to regulation to slip into the hangar, where she landed them without issue. They didn't discuss it, they just fell into their normal mission routines. They rushed down the landing ramp together.

They were greeted by two patrol troopers. They got as far as "Credentials and manif-" before Finn blasted one and Poe got the other.

The droids were attempting to follow, but Rey told them, "You three stay here."

"Happily," said Threepio.

"Which way?" Poe asked.

"No idea, follow me!" Finn said, starting off. They didn't question it; they were on a Star Destroyer, follow the ex-stormtrooper.

They jogged through corridors, shooting out cameras, coming face to face with another pair of patrol troopers, who raised their rifles. "Drop your weapons!"

Blasting their way through this place and leaving dead bodies all around wouldn't help them, so Rey focused, and waved her hand, her voice full of calm. "It's okay that we're here."

"It's okay that you're here," the stormtrooper echoed.

"It's good," said the other.

"You're relieved that we're here," Rey said.

"Thank goodness you're here," said the first trooper.

"Welcome, guys!"

She heard Poe whisper to Finn, "Does she ever do that to us?"

She ignored the flash of guilt at that and told the troopers, "We're looking for a prisoner."

They cheerfully gave directions to the cellblock where Chewie was being held, and Rey sent them on their way unharmed. Then they ran until they reached the split in the corridor that the troopers had described, and Rey stopped in her tracks.

"Chewie's this way," Finn reminded her, but it was clear from his voice that he was used to her doing this.

"The dagger's on this ship. We need it," she said.

"Why?" Poe asked.

"A feeling," she said. "I'll meet you back at the hangar."

They let her go, which was good, since she couldn't be stopped anyway. She had no problems reaching her destination, even though she wasn't sure what her destination was until she got there. It was a bright, white space with high ceilings and not a single touch of warmth anywhere. Kylo Ren's personal quarters.

She was here for a reason, but she was distracted by the pedestal in the middle of the room, black in contrast with its surroundings, like a place of honor. Atop it rested Darth Vader's warped, half melted mask. She had no idea where he would have gotten this, and she couldn't help but stare at it. She'd seen it before, in different contexts, but there was something sad about it now, also in different contexts. She wondered what Anakin would think if he saw this.

But this wasn't what she came for. She glanced around, and on a table opposite the pedestal, were Chewie's things. His bowcaster, his satchel, and Ochi's dagger. She reached for the dagger first-

Screams. A woman crying out, "Rey!" A ship's engines roaring…

A sinking feeling filled her stomach. It was like a lifelong puzzle was beginning to click together in her head in the worst way. She'd dreamed of finding out about her parents, but as she was starting to see things clearly, she considered that maybe she'd rather not know.

The floor shifted under her feet, and the air went dark. What had begun as a Force vision changed, became a connection.

"Where are you?" came Kylo Ren's voice.

Rey whirled. He stood alone before her, masked, snow on his cape. He was onplanet still.

"You're hard to find," he said.

"You're hard to get rid of," she countered.

"I pushed you in the desert because I needed to see it. I needed you to see it. Who you are. I know the rest of your story. Rey…"

She pulled her lightsaber and ignited it, aiming it towards his throat in the same motion. "You're lying."

"I've never lied to you. Your parents were no one," he went on. "They chose to be. To keep you safe."

"Don't!" she snapped, her teeth gritted. If she didn't want to piece everything together, she definitely didn't want him to tell her. If he'd never lied to her, he had deceived her. Used them to make her feel like she was nothing. It wasn't information he got to have. It wasn't information he got to tell her. He didn't get to hold her life over her. She couldn't let him.

"You remember more than you say," he said. "I've been in your head."

"No," she bit out. "I don't want this."

"Search your memory."

"No!" She swung her lightsaber, but he'd of course expected that, swinging his to meet hers.

"Remember them," he said, having not learned boundaries. "See them."

A beautiful woman in a blue hood, tears in her brown eyes. She hugged a tiny girl to her chest. "I know. Rey, be brave."

A young man, stubble along his jaw, staring at her with such love and hope and desperation. "You'll be safe here, I promise."

Ochi's ship flying away, disappearing into the Jakku sky. Rey heard her own cries, it was like she could feel Unkar Plutt tugging at her arm even now…


She pushed the vision away, going for another swing with her lightsaber, pushing him back.

"They sold you to protect you," he said, circling her like some sort of vulture. She circled him right back.

"Stop talking," she snapped.

"I know what happened to them."

His calm was maddening. At the same time, she felt anything but calm. All she felt was loss and rage and he wouldn't stop. She rushed him, swiped and stabbed with a series of blows. She was faster now than she'd been the last time she'd faced him. The lightsaber was an extension of herself rather than a separate weapon. He still countered easily.

Rey swung, Kylo dodged. Her lightsaber sliced through a basket, spilling red berries from nowhere against the white floor of his quarters.

She realized they were together and they were separate, in each other's minds and spaces, but Rey didn't care. She wanted to hurt him. They clashed again and again, creeping closer to Vader's mask.

"Tell me where you are," he demanded. "You don't know the whole story."

She didn't answer. She attacked again. He dodged.

"It was Palpatine who had your parents taken," he said, like he was a patient teacher instead of someone she was actively trying to kill across space. "He was looking for you. But they wouldn't say where you were. So he gave the order."

How many times did she have to tell him to stop. "No!"

She swung wildly. Any training she'd had was out of the window. She was right back to being that girl who fought by just trying to stab and slash however she could. For a split second when their blades clashed she saw his location- it looked like a market on Kijimi. He'd probably just missed her. She swiped again.

The pedestal shattered. Vader's mask tumbled to the ground… and disappeared.

Kylo looked at the mask, and then up at her. "So that's where you are. Do you know why the Emperor's always wanted you dead?"

"No," she lied. She knew. She hadn't known he wanted her dead before now, and she still knew.

"I'll come and tell you."

The connection broke.

Rey took several steps back. She'd screwed up. He was already going to be on his way back and she was separated from everyone. She didn't even know if they'd gotten to Chewie. She couldn't keep letting her anger get the better of her. She was slipping up too much.

She had to get out of here. She grabbed Chewie's things and placed the dagger in the satchel and sprinted for the freighter.

She was good at sneaking around, and she wasn't sure Kylo had alerted anyone to her presence aboard yet, so she got to the hangar easily. She peeked around the corner to make sure it was clear, and found stormtroopers questioning the droids outside the Bestoon Legacy. For once she was glad for Threepio's memory wipe, as he could tell them nothing. She knew BB-8 wouldn't talk. She wasn't sure about D-O. She hefted her blaster, aimed carefully, and with three sure shots, all three troopers were down.

"Oh dear!" exclaimed Threepio. "I've never been in a laser battle before!"

She rushed over, feeling a familiar presence nearby. They were out of time. "Where are the others?"

"They haven't come back?"

A TIE screamed into the hangar bay and landed hard. He was on that fighter. He probably didn't alert anyone because he wanted to find her himself.

Rey shoved everything she was carrying at Threepio: Chewie's satchel, his bowcaster, her staff. "Find them!" Better for them to take their chances inside the maze of a Star Destroyer than to face Kylo Ren. She didn't need to tell them twice.

She turned, and Kylo was already stalking toward her, masked again. She moved to try and get herself somewhere that didn't make her feel so cornered, and he circled her back. She was aware of stormtroopers watching from around the walls, some with weapons drawn. She hoped they couldn't hear. She knew what he was going to say, and she didn't want them to know. She didn't want to hear it herself. She was just as desperate to hear it. Maybe she should just kill him. Maybe she should flee.

Instead she spoke. If she didn't, he'd badger her until she did. She knew how this worked, "Why did the Emperor come for me? Why did he want to kill a child? Tell me."

She was going to hear it. She'd heard it before. She could handle it.

"Because he saw what you would become," Kylo said, stepping towards her. "You don't just have power. You have his power."

That was something Rey had not quite considered. She'd spent the last year terrified of the dark side and whether she had some kind of tendency toward it. She hadn't considered that she could do that, that she could be as capable as he had been. She didn't want to be.

"You're his granddaughter. You're a Palpatine."

She got a moment of satisfaction at his realization that she wasn't surprised.

But he pressed forward, and Rey backed up a few steps. She was too close to the open hangar, and she couldn't let him back her up too much. She wouldn't have anywhere to escape to except into the cold void of space. "My mother was the daughter of Vader. Your father was the failed clone son of the Emperor. What Palpatine doesn't know is that we are a dyad in the Force, Rey. Two that are one."

That was the thing that made her feel off kilter. Here she was, filling in the pieces of an incredibly traumatic origin that she'd repressed, and… she wasn't unlike him. The thought made her wonder if she should try jumping from the hangar anyway. Maybe she could make it to the ground in one piece.

"We'll kill him," Kylo said, removing his mask, and dropping it to the deck. A gesture of vulnerability. Of trust. It occurred to Rey how long it had been since she'd seen his face. The scar she'd given him had faded, but would always be there. "Together. We'll take the throne."

This had been what she'd been seeing. For months now she'd seen visions of the fruition of the offer he'd just made, and it had terrified her.

"You know what you need to do," he said, and offered his black-gloved hand to her. He'd promised her on Pasaana that she would take it.

The last time he'd done this had been on this very ship, in the throne room where he'd killed Snoke. They'd fought as one. They were capable of incredible things. Apparently that was for a reason.

"I do know," she said, feeling the presence of a bright beacon of light in the dark. She turned when she sensed the Millennium Falcon rising up into full view of the hangar behind her.

Stormtroopers shot at the ship, but the Falcon turned, with Poe turning on the thrusters to knock everything back behind them. She saw that Finn had lowered the landing ramp and was standing on it, holding on for support, offering his own hand to her. Debris flew past her.

She looked back and saw that Kylo was still standing, if barely, like he was walking against the strongest wind. He looked determined, like he was still going to try to get to her.

"Come on!" Finn yelled.

Rey didn't think about it. She ran for the edge of the hangar and launched herself toward the Falcon. It was a real leap of faith, and Finn grabbed a hold of her arm before she could sail by, pulling her onto the landing ramp and farther in so they could pull the ramp up. The floor shuddered beneath her feet as Poe whipped the ship around and hit the accelerator.

They made their way towards the cockpit but halfway there, Rey found herself engulfed in a giant, hairy hug. She could have cried. Instead she hugged Chewie back even harder.

"I missed you too." She'd gotten Chewie back. She hadn't killed him. But the fact remained that she had lost control. She'd killed the people who had been on that transport. The only reason her friend wasn't dead was pure, dumb luck. She'd lost control twice since then. Something was happening to her, and she was horrified to think she knew what it was.

Finn exited the cockpit and ran past, explaining, "Gear regulator's out." He stopped when he saw her face. "You okay?"

Rey nodded, and he ran to the back to start repairs.

Chewie moaned his thanks for coming after him.

Rey forced a smile and said, "I'm so happy to…" She trailed off. She didn't know what to say. An apology would even fall flat here.

He just shrugged and headed into the cockpit to help Poe.

She stood there for a moment, a little relieved to have time to collect her thoughts. It also allowed her to hear Poe say, "I dunno why they're not following us. But I don't trust it."

Rey knew. It was because Kylo Ren already knew where they were going. She was putting her friends in danger just by being here. He would always find her, no matter what.

She straightened. Time to stop feeling sorry for herself and get back to work. At the rear of the ship, she found Finn at a panel, trying to fix the gear regulator. Wordlessly, he handed her and electroprobe, and the worked in silence for a minute.

"Whatever Ren said to you, you can't trust it," Finn told her.

"All that matters is the wayfinder," Rey said. "Getting to Exegol."

And then there was the question of what happened once they got to Exegol. Once she had to face Palpatine.

"That's what we're doing," Finn said.

She lowered her electroprobe. She still felt dazed. Her grandfather had sent an assassin to hunt her family down. He'd had his son murdered. She'd been on the ship of the being that had killed them. She'd held the dagger that had done the job. She felt sick.

"He killed my mother, and my father," she whispered.

Finn paused what he was doing to watch her.

"I'm going to find Palpatine," she continued, her voice too calm even to her own ears. "And destroy him." She lifted the tool again to continue working.

"Rey," Finn said softly, worried, "that doesn't sound like you."

But it did, to her. This was her. She wanted that man dead. She wanted it to hurt, like she'd spent all these years hurting.

"I know you-" he said, but she slammed a panel to cut him off.

"People keep telling me they know me. I'm afraid no one does. I don't even know."

She walked away, knowing she was being unfair, but she couldn't help it. She felt raw, and she was going to have to make it even worse. She wasn't moping anymore, though. Nothing but action from here on out. There had to be something else on this ship that needed fixing.


[NFB, NFI, OOC just fine. Taken from The Rise of Skywalker novelization by Rae Carson.]