Ajan Kloss- Tuesday after all that

[thatwaslucky]

Rey didn't even know how long it had been since this all started now. Though she was filthy and bloody- where had that even come from?- Ben had healed her and nothing hurt physically. She wasn't tired from lack of sleep and constant stress anymore. There wasn't even adrenaline that had to wear off. Emotionally though, she felt exhausted.

She had asked for a few minutes to clean up, and after a shower and a change of clothes she had Anakin meet her in her quarters on the Falcon. They needed to have a very important talk, and this was the most private place she had.


[im done spamming you! For the Master.]

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[sith_happened]

"Not just yet," Anakin said, closing his eyes. "Are you?"

[thatwaslucky]

"It's going to be a while," Rey said, not even needing to think about it.

[sith_happened]

"Should I worry that there are now a whole ton of non-failed Palpatine clones running around your galaxy?" Anakin asked, still keeping his eyes closed.

[thatwaslucky]

"I don't know. I don't know if there were more, or if any even survived," Rey said. And after seeing what all of that had done to the Emperor... "I don't think it's a problem."

She'd worry more about any of his followers that survived.

"I think I was the last resort."

[sith_happened]

Anakin reached for her hand. "I don't think you were the last resort. I'm not sure that's comforting, really."

[thatwaslucky]

"I don't mean that in a... negative way, I guess," she said, squeezing his hand. "I'd get feelings when I was down there. Impressions. I think he was just out of other options."

[sith_happened]

"Because he was supposed to be dead thirty years ago," Anakin muttered.

[thatwaslucky]

Rey shrugged. She almost felt like she should apologize for that, too.

[sith_happened]

"Do not feel guilty about this," Anakin said with a little look. "None of this was your fault."

[thatwaslucky]

"A lot of this was my fault," Rey countered, because a lot of it was her fault.

[sith_happened]

"How?" Anakin asked quietly.

[thatwaslucky]

He didn't seem disappointed in her over the Palpatine connection. This would probably do it.

"I was making terrible decisions. Just... I would get so worried about losing someone that I'd lash out and then the situation would be worse, every time. I thought I killed Chewie by accident. I almost killed Ben on purpose. It was like a bad dream, where you have a goal but you keep getting further from it because every choice you make is wrong."

[sith_happened]

Anakin's hand tightened on hers. "I know exactly how that feels," he said.

[thatwaslucky]

"Should I be worried?" Rey asked in a quiet voice.

She spiraled out of protectiveness, defeated the Sith, and still worried about herself.

[sith_happened]

"I would be," Anakin said. "You have to rebuild trust with yourself. Make sure that the next time you're making a decision, it's not coming from a place of fear. I lost everything because I was afraid of losing anyone."

[thatwaslucky]

"I think I've been living in that space for a while," Rey admitted.

[sith_happened]

Anakin gave her hand a quick squeeze. "How did you talk yourself out of telling me?"

[thatwaslucky]

"I thought you and Leia wouldn't want to train me anymore if you k ke," Rey said, not quite looking at him. "I found out too late she knew the whole time."

[sith_happened]

"She knew?"

Anakin had not known.

[thatwaslucky]

Rey nodded. "Luke did, too. I don't know how. It didn't matter to her."

Which considering who her father was, that made sense now, but...

[sith_happened]

Anakin pursed his lips. "Do you think they should've told you?" he asked softly.

[thatwaslucky]

"Luke did," she confessed. "When he was in Fandom last year." After he died. "I didn't handle it well, I think."

Unless determined repression was a recommended coping method now.

[sith_happened]

"Well, it's hardly news you'd wanted to hear," Anakin said.

[thatwaslucky]

"I really didn't. John told me I should tell you both, but I couldn't. The more I said it the more I couldn't pretend it wasn't real," she explained.

[sith_happened]

Anakin nodded. "I'm glad you told him," he said finally, "but I couldn't teach you as effectively because I didn't know."